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getting ready

I've decided that I'm totally over this whole going to work bit.  I'm really getting close to asking my boss if I could telework even a couple days a week.  It takes so much effort to get to work each day.  Luckily my husband decided on his own volition that he would go home early from work each day so he could get the car and come back into the city to pick me up.  It has been so nice!  He has also been cooking and cleaning without complaint and being super helpful.  Hopefully he can keep this up another month (or two or three) cuz it's not going to get any better any time soon.

A friend of mine said that she mentioned to someone else that she didn't feel ready to have kids yet and that person said that no one ever feels ready to have kids.  She thinks that some people are ready to have kids and that I fall into that category.  I am a super planner, but not even I feel ready for this undertaking.  I think it's the fear of the unknown and my naturally pessimistic realist attitude about things.  I like to have low expectations and then I'm happy about how much better things turn out than I thought they would.

I finally weighed myself this morning and it looks like I've gained 30 pounds, it actually feels like more.  I think about working out frequently but I never do it, mostly because my back hurts -- I may have mentioned that before -- and just walking to the bathroom is a chore.  Sometime I get on the elliptical for a couple minutes.  It doesn't hurt my back as much as walking.  I keep thinking about doing yoga.  I think it would make me feel better.  Unfortunately the gap between thinking and doing is quite large so we'll see if I get around to it.

We have purchased a lot of the baby items on our list and we washed all the blankets, towels, washcloths, hats, and newborn clothes last night (ok my husband did it while I was at a church meeting for women, but I did my share of folding).  I want to wash the 0-3 months clothes was well, but we have time and this way they won't get the sizes all mixed together. 

I finished packing the baby's bag with his going home outfit and blankets, but I don't think we'll get everything for us packed until we're walking out the door since I only have so many pairs of underwear.  Bytheway, any suggestions of things you wish you would have had at the hospital?  I bought some slippers and I'm thinking about getting a nursing night gown and cotton robe.  There are so many things to buy for a new baby and a new mom and we didn't really have to buy any clothes. 

I made an appointment with the police to make sure our car seat is properly installed on Jan 29, it was actually the soonest they could fit us in.  Apparently these appointments are hard to come by, which I wasn't expecting.  I just thought you would show up at the fire station whenever, but apparently they have certain dates and times they do this and parents are lining up to get it done.

This little man has been so busy lately.  He kicks and moves around all day.  I keep thinking how nice it will be not to have to go to work and maybe have a nap once in a while, but then I remember that I'll actually be getting less sleep, if that's possible, and I'll be working way harder once he's actually here. 

The only really mentally/physically challenging thing I've done is go on mission for my church so I tend to think that motherhood will be similar in the fact that while one day of taking care of a baby is difficult the real challenge is taking care of a baby every day for months/years.  Luckily they get older and hopefully easier to take care of, of course that's when you decide to add to the brood. 

That's what I found most difficult as a missionary, waking up everyday at 6:30 for 18 months and not being able to go to bed early.  No weekends, no breaks.  Emotionally it was difficult because you had to think about other people all the time and put you and your needs aside for 18 months.  No one asked how I was doing or really cared, they just wanted to tell me about their problems.  I imagine being a mother is similar.  Most of the time kids don't really care if you're having a hard day, they just care that their mac & cheese isn't touching their carrots.  It wasn't until I moved out and had to start taking care of myself, that I really appreciated all that my mother did for me and I felt a little guilty for taking it for granted.

Another issue that has come to my attention is the fact that I don't know whether or not I'll be coming back to work in May.  I haven't let myself think, or get excited about, quitting my job because for now I have to plan on coming back.  But then if I leave next month and just never come back, won't I have some closure issues?  Maybe I'll be so enthralled with my new baby that I won't ever look back and it won't be an issue.

Comments

Sara said…
Take your boppy! It helped a lot when I was breastfeeding esp. at the hospital. I liked my comfy hospital robe and gown...don't spend your money on that unless you really want to but for me the hospital stuff was comfy enough. Plus, if you have the baby normally you will only be there for two nights.
Yes, remember I told you the police get booked up for inspections. I booked mine one month in advance and they are booked up quickly.
Good luck on the last few weeks!
Amanda said…
I second the Boppy and using the hospital's gown. They're made for nursing mothers and it was super comfy. I bought slippers but delivered in August...HA! Like I needed those! :) I'd take 'em again in a heartbeat though...just in case! :)

I bought a cheap toothbrush and a travel size toothpaste to put into my hospital bag, as well as one of those cheapy travel brushes that fold into themselves (Target here has them). How horrid to go to the hospital with no toothbrush/past and no hair brush! :) It's the small things. Our hospital tour-guide told us to have your bag packed before you go because you will absolutely NOT remember everything, including underwear and bra, especially if you go into labor in the middle of the night. Sacrifice at least one pair of undies to go into your bag.

I don't know if you have a focal point for labor/delivery or if you intend to use one. I had a focal point as well as a motivational item. I used a really awesome, serene picture that we took in Glacier National Park as a focal point and took my half-marathon shirt from "the toughest half marathon in the Northwest) as my motivational item. It was a nice reminder that I'd been through very strenuous things before and could do it again.

And yes, no one can totally be prepared for what it's like to be a parent. My husband and I are both planners and as much as I thought I was ready...um, not really. It's great to go in with expectations of some sort but generally, you can't plan for the unknown until you actually get there. Good luck! Looking forward to seeing pics of the little man once he's here!

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