I almost finished the French parenting philosophy book, "Bringing up Bebe." The library here only allows you to keep the book for two weeks and unfortunately someone was waiting for it so I couldn't renew it. Someday I'll have to read the last chapter and a half.
Like most parenting books, this one came with lots of good tips and also made me feel a little down on myself. Not so much on my parenting ability, but for not focusing more on the non-parenting part of my life. There were so many ideas and things I found interesting in this book I don't know where to begin.
Overall it's a different way of thinking about parenting so it changes a lot of ways the French do things. It was interesting to note that there are different ways to look at parenting and I loved learning about American parenting from an outside view. Yes, her examples were of hyper-parenting, very extreme parents who are a little too involved in their children's lives. Most parents I know aren't like this, but a lot of them feel like they should be. We feel guilty because we aren't doing toddler preschool with our kids all day long and we base how well we parent on our children reaching developmental milestones and how much we have to sacrifice for them, including our own sanity.
The French feel that young children should explore and awaken their senses and worry that by pushing them to develop that they will be missing out on their childhood. Americans are worried that their children will fall behind if they aren't ahead, especially in urban areas.
The French also expect more of their children behavior-wise. They teach them patience and to play by themselves and to obey their parents. Americans generally feel that they either luck out and get well behaved children or they don't. They don't think that their child can be taught to behave while their young, but this is a big priority for the French.
One thing that really impressed me right now is the way they teach their children to eat since we've been working on that lately. They don't get stressed out about the quantity that the child eats, but they focus on introducing them to different flavors. If they don't like it they try cooking it a different way and keep making them try it, more than a few times. Americans tend to give up and the kids end up eating plain pasta all the time.
They feel like it will be ok if they don't eat a lot when they're young because they are still getting milk (formula, they stop breast feeding when they're 3 months old). They also don't worry about the kids eating food with butter or salt or sugar. Everything in moderation of course. They get one snack a day and it's usually a sweet so when they do get sweets they don't freak out and eat a ton of it. They learn to eat small portions and there aren't things that are off limits. This teaches them to have a healthy relationship to food. With just having one snack a day they are actually hungry when it comes to meal time so that helps them to eat better too.
Most mothers go back to work after three months of maternity leave. This is possible because they have good, free daycare provided by the government. They also feel like it's important to keep a balance between the different aspects of their lives. It's important for them to have away time from their kids and for the kids to have time away from their parents. Plus they think women who stay home are boring and no one will talk to them at parties.
Since they all go back to work they are back in shape, their babies are weaned, and they all sleep through the night after three months. I have thus been inspired to work out more and watch what I eat a bit more. I would be interested in eventually having more time to myself and Quentin having more time to socialize perhaps without me. We'll see once we move and get settled.
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