birthing plan

While in Wyoming my mom and sister-in-law asked me if I had my birthing plan ready. They were really surprised when I said no because I'm generally a very organized planner sort of person.  I haven't fully decided on anything mostly because I don't feel like I have enough information to make any decisions.  I need to do some research, but thinking about pushing a child out of my body is not something I like to dwell on.  I know it's going to happen eventually and I always figured I would think about it...later.

I borrowed a bunch of videos from our library on pregnancy since my husband isn't much of a reader and I would like him to be involved.  Last night we watched "The Business of Being Born," a documentary put together by Ricki Lake about home birth.  This was an interesting film, perhaps even though provoking, but it also irritated me a little bit.  After reading the synopsis it seemed like they would present various options a woman has in child birth, but really it was very agenda oriented.  I was hoping that it would present an array of views or at least present one view in an informative way.  This film was more like a propaganda piece saying that if you don't have a non-medicated birth you will never bond with your baby and will never feel empowered as a woman.

found here

I like the idea of giving birth in a homey comfortable environment and I would be the first to admit that the medical system in the United States (I'm not familiar with other countries' systems) is too reliant on doctors.  I believe that if we relied more on Physicians Assistants and probably midwives for the normal every day stuff we would spend less money and get better care.  I get that.  What I don't get is why one way of giving birth is bad an another one is good. 

Ricki Lake said that American women focus on the end result (the baby) instead of the birth process.  I agree, but I don't think there's anything wrong with that.  If you want to experience a natural birth and feel empowered by that by all means you should totally do that.  I don't think you should have have elective cesareans, it's a bit of an overkill, and I see how one intervention (like pitocin) can eventually lead to more interventions, etc. 

I haven't heard or seen negative effects of an epidural.  Sure it could possibly raise some risks, that's true with medication, but people have been having them for years now and have had healthy happy babies and they don't leave them at the hospital because they didn't feel substantially bonded with their babies.  My mom had 3 of us with epidurals and one naturally and I don't think she loves my brother any more because she didn't have medication during his birth.  I have talked to women who have done both and lots of them have said they loved the epidural and made the whole process much more pleasant than their natural birth, including my mother.

Anyway, this film just made me defensive more than a convert.  I wish that it contained more practical information.  I think most women in the US don't know that much about home births or natural births and it would be good to get information about it, I just really don't like the way it has been presented in the various blogs, websites, and videos I have seen.   It's always really negative, focusing on how bad medicated births are and then showing pictures of naked woman in pain as the alternative.  The whole time I'm thinking, why can't they wear a shirt or a towel or something on top?  I don't want to be naked in front of people. I just feel like it's such a personal, intimate decision that no one should make you feel guilty for choosing one way over another and that's why I didn't really appreciate the tone of this film.

I do like the idea of birth centers and may look into that in the future.  I don't want to have a home birth and I like the idea of not suffering for hours so an epidural sounds good.  I've never had a baby before and I'd like to have this one in a hospital with an epidural.  I need to decide on all the other options.  It's hard to say what you want when you don't have any experience, I was hoping this film would help me make some decisions, but it definitely did not.  I like to keep an open mind and maybe with the next baby I'll feel more comfortable making different choices.  So far I feel good about my doctor and although I haven't been to the hospital yet, it has really good ratings and it seems nice from what I've read.

I don't like the idea of going to the hospital to be induced and then just waiting there for hours and hours.  Preferably I'd like to go into labor naturally, but also realize that doesn't always happen - I guess we'll see how I feel when I'm 9 + months pregnant.  It also seems good to be able to walk around or lay on a ball.  I'm not sure on the timing of the epidural.  One girl I know had hers kind of early and then it wore off while she was in the pushing stage and so she could definitely feel when to push etc.  I'm also not sure about the episiotomy.  I've read that it can lead to tearing and then others say it saves you from tearing. 

Anyway, this is something I'm sure I'll be thinking about for awhile and will go with whatever makes me feel comfortable.  I don't think it really matters all that much in the end except to the mother.  Sort of like planning a wedding. In a month no one will remember what your colors were or the flavor of your cake, but you will so you might as well go with what makes you happy.