I made it home from Jordan only to turn around the next day and fly to Florida for my brother-in-law's wedding. I have been a mess physically. On my last day in Jordan we decided to go downtown because I wanted to buy some souvenirs. The smells and the taxi cab ride just about did me in and I was gagging minutes away from the hotel. Now when ever I think of Jordan it makes me queasy.
I did ok on the plane ride to Switzerland but my stomach had started hurting and in the bathroom I discovered some brownish spotting like 3 weeks previously and was constipated. I didn't freak out, mostly because I was feeling so ill that I couldn't be bothered with worry. I had a short layover, just enough time to go though security again and get my boarding pass in a very hot room after waiting in a very long line. I felt like I was going to pass out and had to crouch down several times while in line. Finally I got my boarding pass and proceeded to get on the gate.
It was while walking down the long hall that I started to black out. I saw a bench of chairs at the end of the hall before it turned into another hall leading to the plane. I ran to the chairs and collapsed. I really didn't think I was going to make it onto the plane. A fellow passenger walked by and asked me if I was ok and if I needed anything. I said some water would be great, since I had to throw mine away in security and didn't have time to buy anymore. Soon a pilot came out with some water and we talked while I drank. I explained out the waiting in a long line in the hot room while pregnant was most likely the culprit and soon I felt well enough to make it the rest of the way onto the plane. After that I was ok and I watched 3 movies and tried to sleep for the 8 hour plane ride. I have never been so glad to see US soil as I was when we flew over Virginia. I kept thinking, America...land that I love.
I was exhausted when I finally made it home and slept from 5-9 pm and again from 11-6:30 am the next morning. I was not ready to get back onto a plane that morning, but I had to force myself to pack and get back on. I was a little nauseous but did pretty well. We arrived in Florida that afternoon and ran errands for the groom-to-be pretty much all day. My husband felt horrible leaving them with still so much to do at 10 pm last night, but I couldn't do anymore. I had reached my limit. I was exhausted and felt horrible. The constipation had reversed itself and I couldn't wait anymore and I had to use the bathroom in Wal-Mart.
After a good night's rest I felt great this morning, I still had diarrhea, but felt fine. I met my grandma-in-law who flew in from the Philippines and ate some breakfast. We went over to my soon-to-be sis-in-law's parents' house and put together all of the ceremony programs and helped out a little with the flowers. I started to get nauseous during lunch and only ate white rice. Luckily all our family knows I'm pregnant so they've been very understanding and not offended when I don't want to eat anything or can't help out anymore. At 1 pm I made my husband take me back to the hotel. My stomach was killing me with the diarrhea and the nausea...which is a really bad mix. I rested up and was fine to go to the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner. I even ate some food at the dinner, but got really full, really fast and had to leave right after it was over. We came home and I ended up falling asleep for a couple hours.
I still have a little bit of spotting. It's a very small amount, more of just a brownish discharge, but I'm taking note and will mention it at my next doctor's appointment. On "I was pregnant and didn't know it" I heard of women who had their periods the whole pregnancy and they were fine, so maybe it's just my body having a hard time letting go of the cycle. I don't know.
I'm going to stay in tomorrow and not help set up the church, even though I would like to participate, because it seems like I only have a small window of time before I have to take a break and I need to be top shape at the ceremony and reception. I won't have my husband around to take care of me because he'll be taking care of the groom since he's the best man. I know he's exhausted from helping his brother and trying to take care of me and I'd like to be more help, but I have some pretty strict limitations these days. I really hope that by Tuesday when I have to go back to work, I'll be feeling much better. If I feel like I do now I can't imagine making it through an entire day. I've never felt this bad without having some sort of illness and even then I try to push through.
Pregnancy is much harder than I had anticipated, but I keep telling myself that it's going to be worth it. I seriously don't know how women who already have a child do it. There's no way I could take care of a baby right now. I don't even feel like holding babies and generally I love them. A friend of mine wrote on her blog, "Anyone who thinks parenting is selfish has no idea what parenting is all about. Whatever it started out as, it very quickly becomes a major commitment and a lifelong lesson in service unlike any other." I feel that this charity extends even to pregnancy. Hopefully the worst is about over and the next three months, starting in August, will be much better. I'm counting down the days!

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