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the ultra sound

After telling myself that the bleeding was no big deal, I emailed my mom to see if she had experienced  the same thing.  I was expecting her to say, "oh yeah, no biggie," but she said she didn't remember having that issue and recommended I call my doctor.  So I decided to call.  The woman at the front desk asked me to hold while she asked the doctor and when she finally came back on the phone she asked if it would be ok to call me back.  In about 15-20 minutes later another woman called back and said that the doctor on-call would like me to go in immediately and get an ultra sound.  I called my husband and we both left our respective places of work in a panic.  We met up at the bus stop and chatted about the new stuff I bought to make jewelry in order to distract me from thinking the worse.  I totally expected my doctor to tell  me not to worry about it and now I was rushing to get an ultra sound.

On the ultra sound all you could see was grey and a little blob that was our baby. My ovaries were like 4 times the size our little speck who the technician said wasn't an embryo yet.  She asked if we could really be 4 1/2 weeks along instead of 5 weeks and that scared me.  Maybe it had stopped developing a week ago.  She didn't see any bleeding so that part looked ok, but she suggested that I come in two weeks from now to see how the baby was developing.  Two weeks is a long time to wait.

We went home and I checked my calendar to see if there was a time when I had kept track of my cycle.  I have off and on, but since I wasn't trying to have a baby and I was always about a month apart (very regular), I didn't really see the point.  The three months before I got on birth control in April 2008 I had kept track and it looks like my cycle is 29-30 days, so a little longer than average.  Plus I started my last period around midnight on May 11, so I could count that as starting a day later.  So that gives me 3 extra days that I could have conceived later than I thought. It's still not 7 days.

We looked through tons of forums reading stories about this happening to couples.  Some say they were 11 wks and the doctor said their baby was at week 7, but everything turned out ok.  If you read up on when a babies heart is supposed to beat they are very specific, day 22.  I wonder if it is that exact, it doesn't seem like it.  Perhaps it's around the 5th week.  Some books say that you can't see heart beat until week 7.  I don't know.  It's just a wait and see for now.  I sort of wish we had never gotten the ultra sound because now I just have to wait as they can't tell me anything one way or the other for two more weeks.  It seems like the mild spotting was normal and I don't really have anything to worry about.

My husband gave me a blessing of comfort and we had a little cry.  This baby is  like the size of an apple seed and we're already freaking out.  Can you imagine what kind of wreck we'll be when it's actually here?  This weekend we're just going to relax after yesterday's stress fest.

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